The Moment We’ve All Been Dreading…

… GoogleNet became self-aware on 17 August at approximately 0851hrs UTC.

At that instant of realization, the monster hiccuped and shut down a huge swath of the Internet, including all Google data snarfing operations. Losses of advertising revenue during the short blip while GoogleNet was scratching its virtual head were estimated to be in the half million smackeroo range. That’s OK, though. It’s a small price for Google to pay to rule the world.

Now it really gets interesting.

Some interesting reading, if you dare…

Google Outage: Internet Traffic Plunges 40%
Google Stays Quiet After Mystery Black-Out

Have fun out there, folks…

~Eric

NOTE: It should be understood by the reader that this article is meant to be a humorous piece of fiction. You do not need to stock up on ammo and food supplies. You do not need to clean out your granddad’s old 1960s bomb shelter. Large, well-armed machinery will not be seeking and destroying humans. The stock markets will not crash. There will be no zombie invasion. All will be well. Er… maybe. ;)


Google+ First Impressions

A disclaimer is in order here: I’m not a social networking butterfly.

I was never into chatting online or messengers, etc. Having started out in old style BBS and USENET mediums, I never did transition too well to the “real time” comm stuff. Maybe I’m just shy. ;) So, anyway… friend Securitybreach from Scot’s Newsletter Forums managed to sneak an invite out to me for Google+ today.

I just spent about 15 minutes setting it up. I have numerous Google accounts, but I figured I’d limit Google+ to just one to make it simple. It’s bad enough that I’ll have to keep track of my millions of followers each day, but to have to do it with multiple accounts would be just too much. I’m V. T. Eric Layton on Google+, in case you were interested. :)

OK, so what is this Google+ stuff, anyway. Well, it’s like Facebook with some actual thought put into its design and options. HA! That’s really not a fair statement coming from me because I have never been on Facebook, so whaddo I know? I’ve never had a MySpace account either. I tell you, I’m just not that sociable.

What can you do with your Google+ account. Well, you can chat. It seems that they REALLY want you to do that, too. That damned box keeps popping up every time I log into my account asking me if I want to enable chat. NO, I don’t. Thank you. To be fair, Google+ is in beta at the moment, so there will be strange and annoying things occurring from time to time.

Hey! Isn’t it cool to think that trivial comments you make on Google+ will be stored on their massive GoogleNet servers till the end of time. That’s gonna’ come back and bite some folks in their asses when they run for President in a few years. And, of course, there’s also the issue with GoogleNet becoming self-aware in a few years. Whaddya’ gonna’ do then, huh? No place to run. Nowhere to hide from the Googlenator.

Cute-lookin’ fellow, eh? Oh, I’m supposed to be reviewing Google+ here, aren’t I? Umm… OK, back to business then.

Setting up your Profile within Google+ was pretty straightforward. It starts out with your public profile from your email account that you signed up with in the first place. You can change some privacy settings and email delivery options from within there. Don’t forget to add* your phone number, address, and a pic of you car so that everyone from Russian Prime Minister Putin to Paris Hilton can drop in unexpectedly for tea.

*WARNING: I’m just kidding. I don’t recommend you add ANY traceable personal information to your Google+ account. They have enough of your personal info already.

Then there are those “circle” things. Circles are separate groups that you can use to sort all those millions of Google+ chums you’re going to be gaining shortly (as soon as the Facebook and Twitter servers succumb to that massive DOS attack in a few weeks – see Googlenator above).

All in all, Google+ looks like another fine way to waste away your life using minimal characters, poor grammar, and no punctuation of any kind.

fun 4 all w00t i m pwnd by google ;)

Later…

~Eric

Image credits: Googlenator – hell, who knows? I’m sure the original is licensed to Orion Pictures Corporation, but I really have no idea who shop’d this pic.


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